Tuesday, February 2, 2010

this is my 600th post so farr!
which i just realised. hahahaha. this blog do hold so much of me.

anywayyyy, had lots of things to blog about.
but just at the moment when i want to start on it, i procrastinated again HAHAHA.

today's a tuesday. which i supposed its gonna be a long dayy.
this morning when i woke up i was still contemplating on whether i should skip dancesport tonight. exams is like less than 17 days away, which i've gotta include CNY celebrations in these 17 days.

dancesport lessons still seem to be going on without any exam breaks or anything. dont know if its just me being too tired for dance, or my passion is wearing off. this sucks. really wanna start on my revision but dance classes is really taking up my time too.

ok not in that way.... its just that i wish to study, but once i skip these lessons i worry i may not be able to catch up. cause i find staying back in school for like 2~3hours just to wait dance is just a waste of time. dont tell me about maybe i could stay back in school to study, cause i find it hard to sit down in a corner in school to STUDY.

arghh. been contemplating about my dance groups for quite some time. D3 and Dancesport.
whether if i should give up. maybe i shall break down things into parts.

for D3, my dance area has always been more of this type of classes. chereographing and having lessons with intensive warmups and everything. i do like lyrical jazz and broadway, and in fact i enjoy them. but the class timing is too out of the way. okay dont give me about what if i have passion, i wouldnt mind the time.

but no. im finishing my year1 and im heading on to year 2 soon. which means projects and others would soon be more and more demanding. and lessons are on a saturday morning too. i dont live near the school, and just the travelling time to and fro would easily burn up 3 hours.

had been skipping many classes since my xmas performance at taka.... perhaps i might be giving up... but had been contemplating about it. teacher veron and my awesome dancemates. and donn who got scolded just to help bring me in to D3. aiks..


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and as for dancesports. it seems like everything is about MONEY. actually i used to be a whole lot more passionate about dancesport. perhaps its the fruitless 6months of finding a suitable partner that makes me feel so discouraged.

and just when i gave up finding and decided to lie low for dancesport, my senior jo came and asked me for partnership. which by then, i think i could not commit to dance, and of course, money matters.

dancesports never came cheap though. just heels alone cost like a hundred bucks. technique lessons for 50bucks for 4hours of lesson in total. if i were to decide to go for competitive dancing, each dance routine would cost at least 160 bucks (im having 3dances now), and getting a proper costume for my own would cost 400bucks the very least.

making the decision to step into competitive dancing would mean something big. of course, besides the money, its the time. tuesdays, thursday, friday, and saturdays.

and i started to ask myself whether if all these is worth the money and time.
and i going to continue dancesports when i graduate after 2 more years?
which by then we would all be too busy with our next phase of life.

personally i dont think its going to work out, as in, continuing in dancesport after graduation. and if im not going to continue, i wouldnt want to spend such a big sum of money just on developing and progressing in dancesport. my family isnt a very well to do one, and i cant possibly just spend money like that.

perhaps for now, i might just be commiting to the formation team.

but usually when the music hits and i see someone dancing,
im back again to the decision of whether i should give up.


these thoughts had been going through my head time and again.
and i dont know is it wise for me to spend my time waiting in school after lessons just for dance.
sometimes i do get worn out, and i do really want to... you know, give up.

or which u say, quit. dont tell me quitters are losers or whatever that it is,
cause its totally not the same case.

i really admire those who could just withdraw themselves from dance without any worries.
friends been telling me how silly it is to take up so many CCAs in poly, when it isnt a necessary,
and most probably i could be spending my time doing my revision, improving my GPA.

been having too little time for myself .

ARGH.

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