Thursday, July 8, 2010

Friends or Relationship?

Disclaimer: This blog post is purely based on my views about relationships and there's absolutely no targeted personal attacks. Do not take it personally. Just some food for thought!


So,... i had this guy-friend, ok not very close but still regarded him as a friend. Lets name him X. So 10 months ago, X got into a relationship with a girl. I do not really know much, but all i know for sure is that X then deleted me off his msn.. blog.. phonebook.. facebook and so on. I dont know if he did this to his other friends, but i presume his other friends received the same treatment cause his contacts dropped significantly.

So there was this day where i saw him in the neighborhood with his gf, and as per normal i would usually sms saying something like "Hey! Just saw you and your gf!"

no reply received, but i only got emails on facebook. (i assume its for anonymity where he could probably delete it off easily and would not get tracked by the girlfriend.)


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came no reply again!

went to his facebook just to find out i had been eliminated from his friend list.
Sooooooo... i added him back!! to see what will his response be.

and next came:


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...

i was totally pissed off when i saw this.

told myself i would not befriend such a person ever again,
cause usually its only when they've broken up with their other significant party where they would then come back to apologise and ask to be friends again.

so 10months later.. X miraculously tried to keep back in contact with me.

well, i know i cant really blame X for such a behavior,
but having come to such measures where you cant even keep in contact with friends of the opposite sex, hasnt that crossed the line?


i know that no one can force a girl or a guy to do such things unless you agree upon it.
so you think "cool, so we're even. you cant text other girls, and i wont text other guys."
but have you ever thought of how your friends who value every friendship feels?
great so now you have a bf/gf, our friendship is over. how would your friend feel?

if you think that the excuse of "sorry, i didnt know what to do. my Bf/Gf wanted me to do this. He/She is still young", sorry but i dont think thats a forgivable one. you could have just knock some sense into your girl or guy when it was initiated.

you made the choice of foregoing the friendship, you have to take the consequences.
it will be such an insult to your friend 'cos he/she is just a friend to have when you feel like it, and a friend to kick away when you've got yourself a girl/boyfriend.


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in every relationship some sort of balance have to be made.

its not plausible to just go out with your significant half 100% all (or rather most) of the time, where family, cousins, friends, and everyone else comes second. And of course im not saying you should spend most of your time with your friends to prove that point. Your girl/boyfriend would probably feel that s/he is dating the whole group of your friends rather than you.

you get what i mean.


Anyway.... im not targetting at anyone in specific, just a generalisation except for the erm........ X's part. yes you may be angry with me saying "dont want then just say it, dont have to criticise and put me down like that".

but the problem is, i presume hardly any friends of yours previously would tell you how they feel. so here it is, you see the whole point.


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