Impracticality and Reality

2:59 AM JustJaslin 4 Comments

Pictures by KJ
CROSSROADS  Recently I've been feeling very frustrated and I can't sleep (like it's kind of 4, 5am in the morning and I'm still feeling so fitfull!) I'm feeling frustrated with myself, frustrated at what I am supposed to do. You know, it's kind of like I'm back at yet another crossroad. Having finished all my papers as I await graduation, I found out that it doesn't really entitles that "holiday" feel as compared to the previous holiday breaks I get in between school semesters. Here comes the more pressing issue of work, of stepping into working society officially.

The thought of entering the typical 9 to 6 working environment is daunting. It came to a realisation that upon starting work, there will no longer be the "one-month long end of semester breaks", no more jetting off for week-long holidays as that would associate with applying leave, which equates to opportunity cost if we were to apply for non-paid leave days off from work. It used to be something which I thought I could always think about at a later time (but I guess this is when people say shit gets real huhu). It doesn't helps that my mother has been pressing me to get a full time job already (that's two times the amount of stress) and I have no idea what exactly I should be doing.

Having spent weeks pulling my hair out prepping for exam papers, what was supposed to be a well-deserved break for now turns into a daily question of how wise am I spending my time. To be really honest, a 9 to 6 office job has never been on my mind (never one for mundane and predictability). And then there's the issue of having to wake up at 6 a.m. every weekday for work, returning back at home to feel like as though life has been drained scares the hell out of me. Holy cat.

While I was in NTAustralia, I met and heard stories of people who really went out and pursued their dreams. One story which my friend Christina shared with me was how she has a chat with this guy who dropped his school and (well, essentially everything else too) and went overseas to start his business with two other friends. Why not the typical route of gaining some experience and capital by working in a local firm for a couple of years before doing that? Then she told me his reply was "why not? I have nothing to lose. If I were to start work first I would have more on the line by then". Which really made sense. How often has people went by the typical route, stayed on jobs long enough where they eventually gave up chasing? Then again that might be easy to say, but they are more than often impractical.

But comparing to my friends who took up loans to pursue their studies, I think I'm definitely one of the luckier ones who doesn't have a study-loan debt to repay upon graduation (I mean, a 5-digit sum for a debt isn't very funny..) Nonetheless I'm still feeling very frustrated. Decisions made would surmount to pivotal points but who the hell knows exactly what they want to do with life at the age of 21 right? And there goes my thoughts that run back into the vicious cycle of frustration. (Welcome to reality check 101).

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  1. Hey babe, I know exactly how you feel. Wish I could tell you it gets easier but it won't :D But it's true that sometimes it's good to shake boundaries. Like I did by leaving Finland for Sg. At least I've learned a lot more!

    X AMC

  2. Hey, I know exactly how you feel... we all go through these pathways!! I know it might be frustration but trust me its all worth it and from what I can see you are on the right path :) I wish you all the best and I will always be here from moral support =)

  3. I understand you very well but i´m sure it will be ok, the most important thing is to pursue your dreams <3